Don’t say rape when you don’t mean rape.
There are many things rape is not:
- consensual sex
- affectionate contact
- a bear hug
- a tackle
- eye contact
- an argument
- a surprise
- overburdening
- an athletic loss
- a neutral metaphor
There are only a few things rape is:
- forcing sex on a person
- despoiling a population or place
- [a mustard plant or grape residue]
No one rapes your Internet connection, or rapes you in a debate. No one rapes your ask box with spam. People don’t rape with their eyes, that’s called “eye-fucking.” You are not raped with a passionate hug. No one rapes you at basketball or rapes you with a tackle, playful or athletic. You don’t want someone to rape you, because then it isn’t rape. Wanting to rape does not mean wanting to have sex. You do not want to rape people to whom you’re attracted, unless you are a rapist.
As long as I’m talking about it, here are some misconceptions:
- Nonchalance toward rape does not combat the stigmatization attached to victims.
- The word rape does not give itself power. The power comes from the context of the word for victims.
- Rape victims are not asking you to be hypersensitive by asking you not to belittle or to trigger a trauma.
- I’m not violating your right to free speech by asking you to be considerate.
If you read this and felt attacked, ask yourself why. We don’t say “sexually abused” metaphorically, so why say rape? I’m not asking you to never use the word. I just believe it should only be used when you seriously mean rape. When we live in a world without millions of victims, we can talk about redefining or reclaiming it.
I even have alternatives, though there are obviously many more:
- ravish
- ravage
- exhaust
- overwork
- pulverize
- obliterate
- trash
- defile
- squash
- clobber
- pommel
- destroy
- burden
- defeat
- massacre
- trample
- vanquish
- overpower
- thwart
Favorite part: “I’m not violating your right to free speech by asking you to be considerate.”
(Source: nathanonline, via sardonicpuppeteer)
